Chapter twenty-seven

This time I went straight to Mr. Tall and told him about R.V. He listened carefully, then said, "You handled him well."
"I did what I had to," I replied. "I'm not proud of it. I don't like bullying or scaring people, but there was no other way."
"Actually, you should have killed him," Mr. Tall said. "That way he could do us no harm whatsoever."
"I'm not a murderer," I told him.
"I know." He sighed. "Nor am I. It's a pity one of the Little People wasn't with you. They'd have chopped his head off without a second's hesitation."
"What do you think we should do?" I asked.
"I don't think he can cause many problems," Mr. Tall said. "He'll probably be too scared to go to the police right away. Even if he does, there's no evidence against you. It would be an unwanted complication, but we've had plenty of dealings with officers of the law in the past. We could cope.
"The health authorities worry me more. We could hit the road and lose them, but people in the health department tend to trail you around like hound dogs once they've got your scent.
"We'll leave tomorrow," he decided. "There's a show scheduled for tonight, and I hate canceling on short notice. Dawn is the earliest any health inspector could be here, so we'll make sure we're gone before then."
"You're not angry with me?" I asked.
"No," he said. "This isn't the first time we've clashed with the public. You're not to blame."
I helped Mr. Tall spread the word of our departure. Everybody took it in stride. Most seemed happy to be getting this much notice; a lot of times they had to move on with only an hour or two of warning.
It was another busy day for me. As well as preparing for the show, I had to help people get ready for leaving. I offered to help Truska pack her stuff, but her tent was already bare when I got there. She only winked when I asked how she'd packed so quickly.
When Mr. Crepsley awoke I told him about our plan to leave. He didn't seem surprised.
"We have been here long enough," he said.
I asked to be left out of that night's show, because I wasn't feeling very well.
"I'll get to bed early," I said, "and get a good night's sleep."
"It will not do any good," Mr. Crepsley warned. "There is only one thing that will make you feel better, and you know what it is."
Night rolled on, and soon it was time for the show to begin. There was another big crowd. The roads were blocked with cars in both directions. Everybody in the Cirque was busy, either preparing to go onstage or getting people seated or selling stuff.
The only two who seemed to have nothing to do were me and Evra, who wasn't performing because of his sick snake. He left her for a few minutes to watch the start of the show. We stood on one side of the stage as Mr. Tall got the ball rolling and introduced the wolf-man.
We stuck around until the first break, then walked outside and studied the stars.
"I'll miss this place when we go," Evra said. "I like the country. You can't see stars as well in the city."
"I didn't know you were interested in astronomy," I said.
"I'm not," he replied. "But I like looking up at the stars."
I got dizzy after a while and had to sit down.
"You're not feeling too good, are you?" Evra asked.
I smiled weakly. "I've been better."
"Still not drinking human blood?" I shook my head. He sat beside me. "You've never told me exactly why you won't drink it," he said. "It can't be so different from animal blood, can it?"
"I don't know," I said. "And I don't want to find out." I paused. "I'm afraid that if I drink human blood, I'll be evil. Mr. Crepsley says vampires aren't evil, but I think they are. I think anyone who looks at humans as if they're animals must be evil."
"But if it keeps you alive…" Evra said.
"That's how it would start," I said. "I'd tell myself I was doing it to keep going. I'd swear never to drink more than I needed. But what if I couldn't stop myself? I'll need more as I grow older. What if I couldn't control my thirst? What if I killed someone?"
"I don't think you could," Evra said. "You're not evil, Darren. I don't think a good person can do evil things. As long as you treat human blood like medicine, you'll be all right."
"Maybe," I said, although I didn't believe it. "Anyway, I'm okay for now. I don't have to make a final decision for a couple more days."
"Would you really let yourself die rather than drink?" Evra asked.
"I don't know," I answered honestly.
"I'd miss you if you died," Evra said sadly.
"Well," I said uncomfortably, "maybe it won't come to that. Maybe there's some other way I can survive, a way that Mr. Crepsley doesn't want to tell me about until he has no other choice."
Evra grunted. He knew as well as I did that there was no other way.
"I'm going to check on my snake," he said. "Do you want to come and sit with us for a while?"
"No," I said. "I'd better get some sleep. We have to get up early, and I'm really tired."
We said good night. I didn't head straight for Mr. Crepsley's van but wandered through the campsite, thinking about my conversation with Evra, wondering what it would feel like to die. I'd "died" once before, and been buried, but that wasn't the same thing. If I died for real, I'd be dead for good. Life would be over, my body would decay, and then…
I glanced up at the stars. Was that where I'd be heading? To the other side of the universe? Vampire Paradise?
It was a weird time. When I was living at home I'd hardly ever thought about death; it was something that only happened to old people. Now here I was, almost face to face with it.
If only somebody else could decide for me. I should be worrying about school and making the soccer team, not about whether I should drink human blood or let myself die. It wasn't fair. I was too young. I shouldn't have to -
I saw a shadow passing the front of a nearby tent but didn't pay much attention. It wasn't until I heard a sharp snapping sound that I wondered who it might be. Nobody should have been out there. Everyone involved with the show was in the big tent. Was it somebody from the audience?
I decided to investigate.
I headed in the direction that the shadow had taken. It was a dark night, and after a few turns I couldn't figure out which way the person had gone. I was on the verge of abandoning the search when I heard another sharp snapping sound, closer this time.
I looked around and knew immediately where the sounds must have come from: the wolf-man's cage!
Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I ran as fast as I could to check it out.